Day 3

I've been much too busy to make a post until now. Friday, the movers went to Leola's apartment and packed her things. Jon took her out while this was happening so she wouldn't get freaked out by strange men messing with her stuff. They took Dan to the airport, ran errands then came back to our house. By the time I got home from work they were here and she was really confused. She asked me if I was Jon's sister and when Jon told here we were married, she asked why no one had ever told her. She perseverated on that for over an hour.

We knew the first few days would be confusing for her, but didn't realize it would be this bad. Since the movers weren't coming with her stuff until the next morning, she had to sleep in the guest room. During the night she suddenly appeared in our bedroom fully dressed and said she had been outside, but it was too dark to see where she was. She siad she was trying to find the "lady who lives here". Jon went downstairs and got her back into bed and waited until she was asleep.

Next morning she seemed more oriented and knew my name, but still couldn't quite understand where she was or whose house it was. Jon went out and bought locks to put out of reach on the doors to keep her in at night. Even though this is dangerous if there were a fire, it is a temporary safety measure. The movers came about noon and she chatted with them as she watched some of her furniture placed in her new bedroom. The thing about Leola is that in spite of memory loss and confusion, she still likes to talk to people. Granted, she repeats herself every few minutes, but she is generally positive and charming. A couple of our neighbors, Lynn and Betty, came by to introduce themselves to her and chat a little. Betty is 80, as sharp as a tack and twice as funny. Betty is one of those women you want to be when you are 80. Smart, fun and irreverent. They sat out on the deck in the sunshine, Betty in her T-shirt and shorts, Leola in her wool sweater, skirt and black tights. No matter that it is 87 degrees outside, she is always chilly.

Jon and I spent the bulk of the afternoon helping her unpack her clothes, put them away. This is a woman who has always loved clothes and has had the figure to wear them. Needless to say she has way more clothes than we have room for. However, at closer inspection I realized she hasn't purchased any new clothes in at least 5 or 6 years. Nor has she gotten rid of things. I hung up familiar things I had seen her wear over the last 35 years I've known her. The blue dress she bought for her son, Gary's, third wedding, the ultra suede suit she sewed for herself in the early 80's, cocktail dresses I've seen pictures of her in, shorts she used to wear in the summer in Coos Bay, Indian print dresses from the 70s, and of course, dozens and dozens of sweaters and sweater skirts, most of which she knitted herself.

I wasn't quite prepared for the many bags full of panty hose, stockings and tights - most of which had holes and runs in them. There were enough to fill about 7 shpping bags. What is it about pantyhose and older women? When my own mother died at the age of 81, I found several dozen pair of panty hose in her closet and she hadn't worn pantyhose in 15 years! Even I don't own more than 4 or 5 pair fo pantyhose. Since Leola has never worn pants, more hosery than usual was understandable, but this was unbelievable. It probably harks back to her dpression era upbringing - never throw anything away.

What was clearly missing from the clothing we unpacked were undergarments. I found 2 ragged brassieres and only 1 extra pair of panties - also ragged. How had I let this happen? She hadn't purchased any new clothes in a long time and that included underwear. I should have realized over the last 5 years since she moved to Portland from Coos Bay, that she had not had not had an opportunity to buy them. But of course she never mentioned needing anything.

By dinnertime, she was obviously tired and more confused than ever. She wasn't even clear that Jon was her son. Thankfully, she slept about 10 hours last night and seemed more oriented this morning.