Wake (up)

This morning I woke up to a knock on my bedroom door. Glancing at the clock, I noticed it was 7:30 - I had slept in a little. Jon is in Boulder on business having left very early yesterday morning. Leola was confused, didn't know where she was supposed to be, what time it was - she was making no sense, but by now, I kind of know what she means when she's like this. The excitement of the last couple of days, having ended so abruptly, has left her head spinning. She was dressed and holding her nightgown, comb and lipstick in her hands, thinking that was all she had brought with her on her "visit". I got up, made coffee, poured her cereal, topped it with blueberries, laid out the placemat, spoon, sugar and milk, fetched the papers and asked her to sit down and eat breakfast. Meanwhile she asked me hundreds of the same questions. Where's my car? I need to go back to my house. Where's my husband? What's his name again? And on and on. I sipped my coffee and tried to read the NY Times while fielding her questions. It will be a long day, I thought.

"We went to a party, didn't we?" she asked. In fact we had been to two parties in two days. Monday both my children arrived in order to attend their Aunt Bonnie's wake on Tuesday night. Daniel brought his boyfriend, David, whom we had briefly met at Dan's graduation in May, and they were staying in a hotel downtown. Whitney came alone and stayed with us. Dan spent an eye-opening hour with his grandmother while we were waiting for Whitney to arrive. At least seven times she asked him where he lived and what he did. Later he said to me "I don't know how you do this!" Later, after Whitney arrived, we went out for a late dinner, without Leola - a fun, delicious evening filled with laughter and getting to know David.

The next day, Whitney and I met Dan and David for breakfast, then arranged photos of Bonnie and us from over the years on a presentation board to take to the wake. We told Leola we would be going to a party in the evening and that she would need to take a shower and wash her hair. Of course she resisted, especially washing her hair, but Whitney was persuasive and made it a project for both of them to get "pretty for the party". Bless her heart, Whitney was wonderful with her - helping her pick out a pink dress, new pantyhose, curl her hair (see photo). Leola was jazzed and could hardly wait for "the party". Emotions were at a high pitch for all of us. In addition to running some business errands, Whitney had not slept well and an employee had woken her with a call at 5:30 AM. She was stressed about being away from the bakery when they were already short handed. I tried to give her a little down time before we went to meet Dan and David for happy hour at 5:00. The wake was to start at 7:00 at Voleur, a restaurant/bar downtown. Jon and Leola went directly to Voleur and ate there.

I'm getting a little teary thinking of the wake. Family and friends talking and remembering Bonnie. Good music provided by brother, Steve, and fellow musicians. At times, the combination of music, photos and memories was just too much for me. At one point I went to talk to a group of teachers from Mt. Tabor Middle School where Bonnie worked. As I reached out to shake someone's hand, I clumisly knocked over a full glass of red wine at their table. The glass hit the floor, shattered into bits and splashed all over several people, including a woman wearing white pants. Fortunately, it was dark in there and I was able to slink away after apologizing and cleaning up. Not my finest moment.

Leola thoroughly enjoyed herself. She danced with Jon's sister, Terry (see photo) and others. I don't know why I was worried about their reaction to bringing her. Everyone was as gracious, warm and welcoming to her as they could be. She did not know why we were there, just that it was a party for someone named Bonnie.