Crazy Unleashed

I'm sitting in Sydney's Cafe, a small coffee place near my studio that I frequent when I need to get a visual break from my paintings. Only today, it's 10:30 and I haven't been to the studio yet. I just needed to get out of the house and still be able to write this before it escapes my brain.

Last night, Jon and I went to see Storm Large in "Crazy Enough" - a breathtakingly powerful, one-woman performance and autobiography. Before we left, we locked Leola in and she seemed fine with being home alone. When we returned about 10:15pm she was still awake and cranked. We noticed she had attempted to put away all the dished in the dishwasher, except they were still dirty. This has happened before and not really a big deal. She was holding the TV remote in her had and said she was trying to call her friend, Barbara, but she couldn't make the phone work. Well, I can't figure out how to use the new TV remote either. I learn it and then 3 weeks goes by before I watch anything on TV again. By then I've forgotten how to use it. Needless to say, those things are not intuitive, but at least I know it isn't the phone. Anyway, she asked us the name of the show and how we liked it. We told her. As we put dishes back into the dishwasher, she asked us again.

"How was the show?" What was it called?"

OK, I've been here before. Out of curiosity and a need to find humor in the situation, I decided to count the number of time she asked us these 2 questions. In the space of 8 minutes, she repeated the questions 11 times peppered with comments about how she would have liked to have gone with us. Jon told her "Crazy Enough" had a lot of cussing and loud music, so she probably wouldn't have like it.

Not 3 seconds later she asked us, "Did you like the show? What was the name of it?"

We said we were going to bed and Jon walked downstairs with her. Five minutes later she is upstairs in our room looking for the cat. "Good night, Mom."

This morning, Jon was working and on a phone conference in his office and I was in the kitchen preparing to go grocery shopping. Leola came into the kitchen as was teary saying she wanted to go to "where I live" but couldn't find her car. She was quite confused saying she was stupid because she couldn't find her keys or her wallet and how could she go someplace if she can't even keep track her car. She wasn't making much sense, but I understood what she meant. I can't handle it when she cries, but I attempted to calm her down and get her reoriented. So I went upstairs and interrupted Jon, which I hated to do. He came down and and talked with her while I escaped to the grocery store.

Upon my return, she asked, "Are you going out?"

"No, I just got back. I went grocery shopping. See I bought some ice cream for you."

"I don't know where I put my car. I just don't know what's the matter with me." she said. At least she wasn't teary anymore. I continued to put groceries away while she just kept talking, mostly about the car, her wallet, how stupid she is.

"I guess I'm just crazy. That's why I need to leave. You don't want a crazy person like me here and bothering you, getting in your way." My heart breaks. What do I say to her?

"Leola, you aren't crazy, you just forget things. We love you and want you to be here." I say. And I mean it. Now who is the crazy one?