July 1, 2009

I'm feeling better this week. Not drinking, been to the gym each day, working in the studio and more in control of my life in general. Jon and I are a little more on edge with one another, however. Both of us are reaching our limits, but trying to make this work out. He's worried about me and I'm worried about him, but both of us want more from each other in this situation. Tonight I mentioned maybe getting some help from a support group - not exactly Jon's thing, but he didn't dismiss it. I'm not sure it's my thing either, but I realized we need to reach out to many of the resources available in the community. I think I could manage better if I knew how to redirect the conversation/questions. Leola is so pleasant, good-natured and easy to be with, but I don't know how to respond to the constant repetitive questions. It's the hardest part. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for her - not knowing where she is from moment to moment. I can hear the frustration in her voice - frustration that her brain isn't working the way it should, just as she would if it were a physical limitation. I have to remember that.